Hey there. Here I am back again. I realize it's been almost a year or two now? It's strange how long these gaps have become. At one point, it felt like gaps were a good thing. No news is good news right? Well lately that's not really been the case. It's been a strange and difficult phase and I don't know what to do except put it into words. Although I really wish right now that no one I know reads this blog because the practice of writing is for me, to be able to express without feeling the weight of balancing another person's expectations.

Lately that's what its been about. Balancing other's expectations. Lately I can't seem to hold a conversation with someone without feeling like you and I have nothing in common, and everything to weigh us down. Lately the conversations I've had have felt stretched and I find myself making eye contact less and less with people. People I love and care about. Not the shady people that you should avoid generally. I guess that's why I had started writing in the first place - to begin to make eye contact with myself. To stretch the muscle of dialogue within myself before I extend it to other people.

Stephen Hawking died yesterday. It's a little sad that we give the most spotlight to someone like him once they're gone. And after a few days, that spotlight will fade too. I wonder if there will be other great minds to remind us to look up at the stars and believe in our infinte potential.

Do we have infinite potential though? I watched videos of Sadhguru today who said something similar, about believing that our mind and body are capable of things we cannot fathom. It's a comforting thought when you're struggling with day to day tasks I suppose. If it's true, it's scary that instead, this is how we choose to live our lives.

I guess there hasn't been any intent to this post, except to write again. I hope over the next days I can write more, read more, do more things that bring me peace and joy. That's the hope.