Saturday, September 26, 2015

Starting to understand why people go for therapy.

I'm not the same person I was three years ago. I don't react to things the same way. I don't care for things the same way. I don't want to be that person any more.

What infuriates me is that you think I'm that same person. That I overreact and become difficult over little things. That's the opposite of who I am usually. I'm not fazed by the small things, I don't let people get to me. And even if they do, the last thing I would do is show it to them.

Now, I'm great at my job, I have new friends, I care about different things, I have new opinions. You don't know this side. Do you? Do you know the side that tells people off for staring at her in the metro? That can counsel little kids and get them to go to class because that's the only way they'll become a police officer? That goes and chills with her grandparents and tells them not to worry too much? Who works day and night and stressed about her work, because this is something that makes me proud? Who's trying really hard to be a better person, read more, be more kind, who cares about the way the world works, who worries for her family, and wants to travel more, and be more independent, and learn how to drive, and figure out what to do with her life without worrying about the unnecessary entanglements of a fling or romance?

I'm not the person I was three years ago, however much I liked that person. That person whose happiness depended on you, who you could break with one whisper. But you dive into the core of me and fish her out. I don't need that person. Leave her be.