Thursday, September 26, 2013

just upsetting.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

A letter from August 15th, 2012.

Dear FutureMe,
So like a wimp, you've set the time on this to only one year in the future, because for some reason you're really scared right now. Oh cmon, you know why you were scared at this time. Life seems like it's falling apart and you don't really know who you are anymore.
Well time heals all wounds. It's cliche but I hope, for both of our cases, it's true. I hope that you've learned some things though by now and implemented them. I hope you had fun in Newcastle. I hope you lived happily with as little drama as possible. I hope you found the best of friends in your dorm mates. I hope also, that you didn't fall in love, or if you did, you did with the right guy. Your trust issues? I hope you worked on them. And I hope, for me, please, that you never let someone treat you like that again. Remember that you deserve to be treated well. Please remember. Don't forget that. Don't repeat things. And appreciate the ones who do that for you.
I hope that you gave it your all, and got some really good marks! This is your future after all. And hey, remember your dream of doing some good for the world. Don't let go of that, it's what keeps you apart.
I'm so jealous of you right now. I wish I could be where you are now. This place here sucks. I've turned into something I really wish I wasn't. I hope time helped fix things. And I hope you've grown into an even better person. And hey, going through all of this. I'm sure there were some lessons. And some good things about it. You learned to cook, for example! Please God, be able to cook better now that you're 22! It's time consuming and you're lazy I know. But by now you should have atleast learned how to make a decent cake. And cheesecake. Actually it's okay if you didn't learn the cheesecake.
There are so many things I want to say. Right now, I've taken sabbatical from the most aggravating thing in my life: my now over relationship. I hope I don't disappoint. I promise I'm not complaining to my future self :P Do you still overuse the colon p? Are you getting teary eyed? Is your hair finally long!!!!? Oh oh! Also a pact. To not cut your hair for a year! And yeah, I hope after this experience, you became stronger and a better person. We have this problem of victimizing ourselves. We should stop doing that.
Oh and, I hope that on your 21st birthday, you had a blast! And I hope you've made out with a couple more people. Is it strange that I'm enjoying talking to myself so much?
And I know you're on the brink of your career. Remember what I said. Work to make the world a better place. Work in a happy environment. Be proud of your work and yourself. And reach out to old friends, tell them you missed them a lot.
Be there for your brother, and for your parents. God knows they need you.
And I do love you, maybe not then but definitely now.
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Here's your gift :) In case this 2012 world ending apocalypse thing didn't actually pan out.
Your still 20 year old self

Thursday, September 5, 2013

"She had always secretly reproached him for not loving her enough. Her own love she considered above reproach, while his seemed mere condescension. Now she saw that she had been unfair."

Milan Kundera.