Thursday, November 8, 2012

the best part of living here in this new city is the walk home alone at odd hours of the night. it is by far the most beautiful part of any day. the city is relatively quiet, barring the odd drunk first year puking in a corner, the cobblestone streets are lit with the soft yellow glow of street lights. the archaic architecture surrounding city center, with (these days) its glistening christmas decorations in the windows makes me calm and happy. the churches, the autumn leaves. it's like i have the city all to myself and there is no one to bother me, no one to conflict with my peace.

because of how safe it is here, walking home at four in the morning alone doesn't seem like a dangerous mission, but a gift of time. the alcohol never helps me warm up, and i usually rush rush rush to my home. there is always a quiet calm. sometimes there is music. and there's always this sense of freedom to be myself, with no overarching thoughts, no troubles, no nothing. just me and my insignificant musings about the world.

past midnight tonight, i was walking on the road that is the last stretch before i reach home. the wide beautiful empty street all to myself. i always have this urge to run like a little kid. but i'm always too scared about what people would think. i had this urge again tonight, and i almost leaned forward to break into a run but then hesitated, thinking, it's so stupid. then i thought, well, there's no one to see my stupidity, and i broke into a sprint till the end of the road, running with arms flailing, hair flying, as fast as i could. and it was amazing. to give in to urges once in a while. and the feeling of running like a kid. i'm so jealous of kids. they can act however they want and would always be excused.

that is why i love this city. it gives me the space and time to do silly things like run down a road in the middle of the night for no reason.

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