Sunday, July 29, 2012

A lot of self reflection has been happening lately. Mostly because there's just so much goddamn time to think about things. And I realized that sometimes, it's just really hard to talk to people. Just some people. Actually a lot people. These people come in the category of those that I have some respect for and want to keep talking to.

See, the people who I don't care about are really easy to talk to. Because, deep down, I think I have a superiority complex somewhere. I say what's on my mind and dare them to judge me. Low risk involved with these sorts of people. Being myself with these people is what actually helped me have the most interesting conversations.

Then, there's the close friends. The people I love and trust. Those are easy as well. Even if we don't communicate for days on end, I know it will be the same.

Then there's the horde of outside friends with whom occur the awkward conversations. The conversations are only good for short witty banter (if lucky) or awkwardly asking about their families. And other awkward areas of life and sordidness.

You know who's fault it is? My mother's. For feeding me when I was young and making me so fat that no one ever talked to me, hence robbing me of gaining the skill of social interaction.

I miss that chubby girl. She had it all figured out. 

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