I don't know why I'm writing again, when I have nothing to say. Nothing's changed. Except I realized, somehow, somewhere, something's not the same. It's like I've been falling, all this while with the certainty that there's a mattress down there, ready to catch me. It's still there, but now I never wanna reach the bottom.
Wow, my writing's started to suck. Ok, ignoring all the eyes I feel are watching me, or would watch me as I publish this, and talking only to myself.
It's KILLING me right now to not pick up the phone, to make everything the same as it was once. Maybe I can call ceasefire? Maybe you really won't be such a weak willed bastard the next time? But you know what irks me the most? You didn't even try to stop me. I left and you accepted it.
And HER. For the LOVE OF GOD! There was once a time when it was alright, she was allowed to be mad at me. But now, she's this delusional psychopath who hasn't got any remains of dignity left. And I realize maybe I can't ever let this blog become public. But for god's sake!
I'll delete this post. But for now, let me vent. There's oh so much to vent.