Thursday, April 8, 2010

Mental Retardation

Who do you turn to when you realize everything's collapsing around you? Like you're Caesar, and the pillars of Rome are going timber... alright so Caesar was killed before Rome collapsed, but imagine if it had happened in front of his eyes. With such pride he saw Rome prosper, and then one day, everything just...fell. In slow motion too, like a feather falling from a great height. You try to blow and keep it afloat, but in the end gravity will have its way. And you can do nothing about it except watch it go down.

Down.

Down.

Who would Caesar have turned to? Who cares about Caesar, who do I turn to? Some friends wouldn't understand. Others I can't burden. Yet others would judge. And some are the cause of the problems themselves. Why is it so hard to remain happy? With depressing souls I just want to grab them by the collar and slap them, like they do with white gloves in those funny movies. "Get over yourself!" I'd declare. "Learn to smell the roses! Learn to smile! No one gives a shit about how your life sucks!"

Alas. Some of us remain incorrigible.

Getting back to the issue here. When someone who doesn't usually complain about their feelings, suddenly gets an overload, who would she unload on? Not on her unsuspecting friends, oh no, but on this anonymous blog. Well, as anonymous as it gets. (Yeah, hi, I know you know who I am.) When someone who prides herself on her diction can't seem to get out a coherent thought in explanation of they way she feels...well, there's a paradox. I've got it all figured out of course, with the amazing analytical skills that I have.

Ahem.

The conclusion is that such a person cannot divulge weaknesses without the disgust of being thought of as weak. What a superbly abhorrent thought, being deemed weak, defenceless. How dare they. Don't they know what I've been through? Don't they know what I can do? Do I?

The fact is, maybe such a person is not infallible, indestructible. Fuck 'maybe,' no one is immune to the casual downfall. Even Rome succumbed. We all do.

I forgot the point I was making. Oh yeah, so without feeling uneasy about revealing weaknesses, I freely regurgitate, if you excuse the slightly icky image, my thoughts online. The Internet is truly a wondrous invention.

But don't get me started.

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